#incorrect daredevil quotes

[matt-murdock-fan-girl]

Matt: You shouldn’t kill people, Frank. You should give them a chance to redeem themselves.

Frank: ...

Matt: Redemption is important.

Frank: ...

Matt: Frank?

Frank: *Takes out earplugs* Sorry, what?

Matt: *absolutely done with Frank's shit* FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!

[lithiumseven]

[karmaspidr]

Post DD:BA Episode 2

Judge: Mr Murdock, you claim you were assaulted and almost executed by Mr Powell and his associate.

Matt: That is correct, your honour.

Judge: Both men were found in critical condition with only yourself present. Can you explain how that happened?

Matt: It's very simple, your honour. The vigilante Spider-Man saved my life.

Peter, watching this from his TV with a bowl of cereal: Fuck you too, man.

[headcanonthings]

Wade: Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn't have anything nice to say then he shouldn't say anything at all. Foggy, pulling on his arm: Sit down!

[youcantcallmethat]

Foggy: So you make most of Matt's Daredevil suits?

Peter: Yep

Foggy: ... are you DELIBERATELY making him look more and more like Batman?

Peter: Oh yeah. Next time I'm taking inspiration from Batman Forever, I want to see how far I get before he realises it has nipples

Foggy: Why?

Peter: Because he won't agree to a cape :(

[the-poor-miranha-quotes]

“okay listen up here i don’t wanna hear your idiots voice unless the fuckin’ world is on fire!”

_ Daredevil after the first time with the red team.

[onlykastle]

Foggy: Get rid of it, Karen. Pine has no place in this office. It’s the wood of poor people and outhouses.

[stuckysknife]

Matt: Alright, Spider-Man, be safe out there. I'll see you around.

Peter [joking]: Unless you go blind!

Matt:

Peter:

Matt:

Peter: wait-

[honeybea-yaps]

Frank: I had to study for nine months. It was like giving birth-

Solya: no it wasn’t 🙄

Frank: or not.

[the-suicidal-lizard]

Laundry

Karen: Why does Foggy do the laundry so loud? Matt: So everyone knows that no one helps him out in the house. Foggy, in the distance: *Slams the washing machine shut*

[matt-murdock-fan-girl]

Matt: *leaning in, smirking* You know, Frank, if you keep staring at me like that, people might think you want to take me out.

Frank: Take you out? I'm not gonna kill you, Red.

[karmaspidr]

Peter: So you're a priest now.

Matt: Yes.

Peter: And you were technically never a lawyer.

Matt: Yes.

Peter: You're a priest who runs around New York, hospitalising criminals left and right while dressed as the devil.

Matt: Yes.

Peter: So, do you confess in front of a mirror or do you have one of your buddies do it?

Matt: I actually go upstate. None of the priests there know that I'm one of them.

Peter: Nice.

[youcantcallmethat]

Foggy: Elektra is an ASSASSIN?

Matt: What can I say? Love is blind.

Foggy: No. YOU'RE blind.

[aroqueerfandoms]

Matt WOULD

Foggy, drunk and sobbing on the table: And I keep trying to tell Matt I'm in love with him, but he's so damn dense and he never notices when I flirt with him.

Josie: *ignoring him and collecting the glasses*

Matt, listening from the roof across the street: ...... When did he meet someone else named Matt?

[the-poor-miranha-quotes]

Daredevil: shit will come

Spiderman: it won’t give shit

Daredevil: it’s going to shit

Deadpool: if not?

Daredevil: and if so?

Deadpool: if it doesn’t shit?

Daredevil: and if it happens

Deadpool: But if shit goes down, we’re in shit together!!

Spiderman: Ready!

Spiderman: Guys, this won’t give shit

Daredevil: yes it will

Deadpool: BUT IF SHIT WE ARE SHIT TOGETHER!!!

[gay-dorito-dust]

Matt: *listening to your heart* somethings wrong.

You: what is?

Matt: your heart, it’s odd. Inconsistent.

You: oh. my hearts just beatboxing.

Matt: *concerned for your health* that’s not normal-